Corner of solitude

All week the only thing I hear about is cricket. So for this week’s Fag of the week I have three nominations. And they’re all cricket related.

The first nominee goes to the Indian cricket team and cricket board. They had the nerve to hold the game of cricket to ransom by threatening to boycott the rest of their Australian tour, just because Singh was found guilty of racism and wasn’t man enough to cough it on the chin by serving the three test match suspension.

The second nominee are the Australian cricket team. For the main reason of being a bunch of pissweak numnuts. Just because you’re called a monkey doesn’t mean you’re being racially discriminated against. Like I said in an earlier post this week, if you’re being sledged against you’ve got to give your tormentor their own back, instead of being spineless and taking it out off the field for something as trivial as being called a monkey. I also can’t stand how Ricky Ponting handled the situation, as the captain he’s a bigger “FAG” than Symonds, Bill and Ted would agree with me. And what the fuck was he doing last week making umpiring decisions during the test, you’re not a fucking Umpire dude so leave the decisions to the umpires.

The third nomination and the most deserving of this week’s Fag of the week title is the media. All I heard the past week was cricket fiasco this and cricket fiasco that, I say enough already. Stop trying to build up something that’s obviously not that big of a deal. It should have stopped when the ICC handed down the three test match suspension to Singh, and so what if they’re appealing the sentence? I say good on the Indians for sticking up for their mate. And stop trying to make out that the Australian team is the villain of the whole thing because of their take no prisoners playing style. They’re winning their games, it’s also not arrogance if they want to have a bit of fun with their celebration. So for the media’s insolence they are the Fags of the week.

Yes folks, this is my revolutionary suggestion to make the game of cricket much better. Because we don’t need “FAGS” as Bill and Ted would say refereeing this much beloved Ozzie summer sport.

Umpires ruin the game, take for example this week’s test match between Australia and India, the umpires made so many mistakes it turned the whole thing into a farce. I don’t even remember who the umpires were, such was my disgust of the umpires during the game.

The blundering umpiring escapades even overshadowed Symonds sookie saga. He acted like a sook because he was called a monkey by someone from a country where they munch curry. Being called a monkey isn’t racism, it’s called sledging. He should be a man and give his tormentors some of their own back.

Anyway I’m all for replacing umpires with computers. We should leave all the umpiring decisions to modern technology. It’s already incorporated into the game anyway, so why not? Think about it, there is the snickometer, the Video ref, Hawkeye, so on and so on. Anything to replace these sorry excuse for umpires, because they are this week’s Fags of the week.

Ah yes! the inaugural Fag of the week. Who will it be? Is it my boss from work? Perhaps the head teacher of Electrical at Meadowbank Tafe? No, it is none other than Oscar winning, phone throwing, TOFOG frontman, Gladiator, Russell Crowe.

That’s right folks, if Bill and Ted were to meet Russell Crowe they would only have one word to say to him, “FAG!”

Crowe’s decision to sack the South Sydney Rabbitohs rugby league club’s Cheerleaders has earned him the inaugural Fag of the week. People might point out that his wife, Danielle Spencer (a very lovely lady I might add) clearly has him by the balls when it comes to decision making, and hence not entirely his fault.

But after being qouted as saying “. . . our focus is to re-establish rugby league and women. The focus on game day should be a positive experience for the crowd. We feel the cheerleaders made a lot of people uncomfortable . . . and would like to replace them with drummers . . .” makes him head and shoulders the Fag of the week.

How can rugby league be re-established with women when it is the women who are the ones getting the boot? For people to have a positive experience they need something positive to focus on, and I thought that was what the role of the cheerleaders was in the first place. Perhaps the football team should try winning a few more games before this positive focus is to be shifted.

The only people who are made uncomfortable by the cheergirls are the ones who seriously need a private place real quickly after seeing the lovely ladies in action, to try to reaquaint themselves with their right or left hand. And to replace the ladies with drummers of all people, WTF? Perhaps his TOFOG drummer needs a steady day job, Har Har Har.