Corner of solitude

The cricket season is definitely here now, I’m watching Australia play against India as I’m typing this. Anyway here are the resolutions or rather they are next year’s goals, which is in five days time.

1. On top of my list is to become a licensed electrician
2. Add more content to this site, especially the Bill and Ted section
3. Read all discworld novels from Terry Pratchett’s first to his latest
4. Get my car license, yes folks I don’t have a car license
5. Buy a new graphics editor like Illustrator or photoshop
6. Blog regularly
7. Review all 26 episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion
8. Do more creative art also creative writing for my online Fiction
9. Save enough for another trip overseas
10. Get a dental checkup
11. Learn a second language or to play an instrument

Here’s a breakdown of little goals to achieve my ultimate goal of becoming a licensed Electrician

1. Re enroll for the capstone course
2. Study regularly
3. Finish weekly assignments
4. Fine tune my portfolio
5. Past the theory exam
6. Past the practical exam
7. Send away all my paper work to the Fair Trading people

This saturday night I will be baby sitting my cousin’s children and I’ll be stuck at home, the only thing that will save me from boredom is the idiot box, but lately there hasn’t been any good shows. I really miss watching TV on a saturday night. And I miss the show Iron Chef the most, the old episodes from the 90’s that is. SBS has pulled it off the air again, how disappointing.

One of the few shows that I enjoy because it’s a show that’s always full of energy and for it’s quirkiness, and also because it’s all about cooking great food. Iron Chef chinese Chen Kenichi is my favourite chef, I wish I could cook his style of “Japanese-Szechwan” like he can. My favourite commentator and guest taste judge is Mayuko Takata, she’s a babe.

After going to church this morning we went to the Cronulla beach cafe, like any bourgeoisie laté swilling capitalist bastard wannabes would do, so that Lauren could get her fix of caffeine. As I was drinking my milk (I don’t drink coffee or tea) a thought occured to me, wouldn’t it be great if God gave me permission and the powers to do what I want? A divine grace of sort granted to me. Just like in that Jim Carey movie Bruce almighty.

Not to fix up any of the social wrongs of our world and society, but to do what I want selfishly. For example, convince Lauren into a threesome with me and another hot chick of her choice. Because really thats what any red blooded male would think of doing, that is to get into the pants of two sheilas at the same time.

But then I got to thinking, God has already provided not just me but everyone with that power and that’s called “choice”. We as humans have been gifted with free will, we can choose to be selfish or unselfish, for example I could selfishly convince her by holding a gun to her head or just talk to her about it and hope she likes the idea and unselfishly let her make the decision. It’s what makes us humans.

But it comes at a price, because it’s our choices we must also choose wether to be with God or not to be with God as well, and because we have this choice that price is death. But the price is twofold, depending on your choice you could be in a desolate place devoid of the presence of God called hell or be in the presence of the “glory” of God called heaven.

So I opted to just talk and tell her about my fantasy. Lo & behold like a gift from God she said “How about that babe over there bending over with the over sized rack?” Actually that didn’t happen, what really happened was I got a smack in the face and she said “Go to hell you pervert!” And that made my day, because I now know that she only wants to share the joys in bed with me and only me, that’s when I smiled and thought “all is right with the world.”

Finally I’ve reached 23, sigh. LET’S PARTAY! Now where are those cuban cigars? They’re never around when you need one. Ah, I just remembered, I don’t smoke.

That’s right folks yours truly is 23 as of today. That means I’ve notched up not one, not two, not even three, but at least twenty three years of existence on this God forsaken world of ours we have come to love and know as home, called Earth. It’s pretty hard to believe I’m 23 years old, my mum can’t believe it either, she keeps thinking I’m still a baby and in need of a diaper change every time I cry. Har Har Har, actually that was just a joke by the way . . . about the crying that is, not the diaper changing bit, boom tish!

A lot of people say 23 is a magic number, I think not! I have a very good reason for thinking it’s not a magic number, and that reason is because I don’t believe in magic. I tell people this all the time, and they just cry out “what about that movie?” And I say “what movie?” “You know the movie, 23? and then I say “you mean the one starring Jim Carey who goes wacko about the number 23?” And when they nod I say “oh, that piece of shite.” Yep, that dude hasn’t made a great movie since Ace Ventura : When nature calls. I used to think he was funny, and I’d LMAO all the time, like in The Mask.

Sure 23 is associated with a lot of amazing things or people. Take Michael Jordan for instance, everyone knows his Chicago Bulls number is 23, but he isn’t magical, trust me … I mean he’s no Magic Johnson, now that guy must’ve been magical otherwise he wouldn’t be called Magic, right?

Another person associated with 23 or he associated himself with it, is Shane “Warnie” Warne. Yeah I rate him as a spin bowling freak and one of the greatest cricketing legends of all time but he’s hardly magical, I don’t see him with little fairy wings flying all over the place. The only other thing amazing about him is the rate of ladies he could pick up, rumours indicate his got a better average than his bowling, better than 23 at least. No folks, I wouldn’t call good ol’ Warnie magical I just call him damn lucky . . . the bastard!

I was planning on going out tonight, but it’s raining as usual. Anyway I’m off to see the folks round the back, and get back into some heavy beverage. Party on Dudes and Dudettes!