Corner of solitude

Har Har Har, yes folks I am back. Not bigger or better and neither am I wearing black.

So what happened over the last month or so? I hear you ask. Well I’ve been as a busy as an orangutan trying to gorge himself with as much banana in a banana plantation. In between working, downloading porn, harassing my friends and studying, I’ve been trying to complete my Electrical portfolio.

I had the whole month to do it. But as usual I’ve been lazy, and thus have left it to the last moment. Not that it’s not finished, I’m just trying to polish it up. It’s due monday.

This post will be in the same vein as yesterdays post, but this time about blokes. I recently read in an article in one of the papers I picked up on the train yesterday about a survey that will surely interest the blokes whose first names are David.

Someone took the time to conduct a survey about men with the biggest block and tackles. They asked the women to name which men have the biggest of them all. And apparently men whose first names are David have larger ones than any other of his fellow men.

But this was conducted in america and not here in Oz. Otherwise it would’ve been the Lukes named as having the largest set of tools.

Catching the train has some advantages, I wont mention them all. But I will say that I don’t have to spend any money on newspapers. This is because people have an extricable urge to leave them in their seats rather than taking it with them and putting in the next rubbish bin they see, like a goody two shoe should, I guess there isn’t any goody two shoes left in the world anymore.

Speaking of shoes, I read in one of the papers that wearing stilettos is good for women. Good for their sex drive that is. Somehow women don’t get enough pelvic muscle exercises. Apparently exercising their pelvic muscles does wonders with their libidos and wearing high heeled shoes is the perfect pelvic exercise which also makes them feel sexy.

You know what? From now on I’m going to recommend to Lauren to always wear stilettos wherever she goes, heck I’ll even tell her to wear ‘em in bed. The higher they are the better. Chances are, she wont ever have another sudden headache whenever I want some action.

Damn you L. Ron Hubbard! If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have to put up with spam from Scientologist, they’re out of control. I’m a catholic, and it really hurts my street cred to be a recipient of so much Scientology junk mail. Now I can’t even go out to my postbox without receiving a barrage of disapproving looks, tsk tsk tsks, and a whole lot of catcalls of heretics & pagans, from my fellow catholics no less. Seriously this has got to stop.

I don’t know how they got my postbox address in the first place. Hmmm, I have this sneaking suspicion that someone I know is the culprit, someone trying to be funny even though they probably don’t have any sense of humour themselves. I’m not mentioning any names, Stephen G, you know who you are.

Look, I am not trying to jump on the diss the scientologist freaks band wagon. Even though I suspect the late L. Ron Hubbard was pulling everyone’s leg and thought he could make a few bucks on the side while he was at it when he decided to create Scientology into a religion. He was a sci-fi writer for crying out loud. He actually tells in one of his so called doctrines a story about an alien blowing up billions of fellow aliens in a volcano, millions and millions of years ago, freeing their souls that now resides in people today. Yes that’s right folks, a science fiction writer and a doctrine about an alien . . . hmmm lets see if we can put two and two together. I just think that people of today have too much time on their hands.

I’m only saying to the Scientologist folks out there to be reasonable and to stop sending me spam. Just stop it, all right? Think about it, what would Bill and Ted say to L. Ron Hubbard if he was still alive and to you for sending them junk mail? They would say straight up “FAG!” You know I’m right. So I’m giving L. Ronny this week’s Fag of the week, because his largely the one to blame for all this.